The Pessimism Post

Last night, Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-New York) became the first woman to accept the presidential nomination for a major political party. Both my grandmothers were born during the time when women were still unable to vote. Watching the coverage, I thought of them–both Republicans–and their strength. My maternal grandmother watched her father die at the dining room table when she was sixteen, and weeks before her high school graduation she had to quit school to provide for her siblings. She became a maid and spent the rest of her life trying to make sure that the desperation of the Great Depression was not felt by her children. My paternal grandmother, the child of Finnish immigrants, left school after the 8th grade, moved from her farm in Minnesotta to Detroit, where she and my grandfather, also the son of Finnish immigrants, started a family. Grandma did the Sunday New York Times crossword in ink. She could insult you in English and Finnish, but do so with such a smile you’d never know what just happened. And when Hillary spoke of her mother, of her struggle, I melted. I caved. I surrendered. I went from voting against Trump to voting for Hillary.

I lost my Progressive cred last night. I became a mindless idiot crying over words deviously crafted in a DNC laboratory, falling as easy prey for a sadistic war criminal who has left a trail of bodies and destruction in her wake. At least according to my friends on the far Right. And the Left. The far Left. The Left that I have now left. The pessimism is too much for me. It is too crushing, too limiting, too angry, too self-righteous, too absent of nuance. I’m not unware of the drone strikes that terrorize communities around the world, mainly in Muslim-heavy countries. Civilians continue to bear the brunt of our disastrous invasion of Iraq; Syria is teeming with suffering and uncertainty. Our globalism continues to serve the oligarchs who control the means of production and the media that too often fails to inform rather than incite. I’m not unaware of the subtle and not-so-subtle racism of Democratic policies. Our for-profit prison system keeps entire populations locked into a pipeline that’s more dangerous than the  Keystone project. Trans* women are still dying. Black and Brown people are still oppressed and struggling. I’m aware of these and the myriad other deficiencies in the DNC platform. And contrary to what some think, I am not just shrugging my shoulders and waving an American flag certain Republicans think were absent from the DNC and belong only to them. 

But the pessimism is too much. The notion that we are so corrupted that the entire system needs to be blown apart doesn’t resonate with me. I’m not down with the revolution. In fact, I’m with Bono. Fuck the revolution. I’m going to give up caring when people say I am selling out, or believing hype, or being duped, or that I am playing into the hands of a system that is inherently evil.  I’m not going to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. 

So I’ll say it for the detractors, and they can move on to bigger game. To people who will perhaps find the pessimism more useful to motivate them toward positive action: I drank the Kool-Aid. I surrendered my will. I let the big, bad DNC throw my brain into the machine with extra bleach, and a nice dryer sheet to finish it off. I have let the mistress manipulator tie me into pretzels until I shouted “I’m with her!”

Of course, I did nothing of the kind. And if you are still not convinced to vote for Hillary, that’s fine. It is really not my business. But keep your pessimism to yourself. I have no use for it. I’m about building up, making a difference, trying to forge relationships that are significant and lasting, and to do that with people with whom I may disagree on a lot of things,  but with whom I can work. Serve. Form community. I’m okay with not being pure enough, not being a true revolutionary if it means I can stop feeling so angry and sad. I’m sure this is privilege, or at least it will be labeled so. That’s cool. I really don’t care. 

Well, I’m trying not to care. 

Since converting to Christianity, I’ve gotten really use to people telling me I believe in things that are not true. I’ve learned to smile and nod, and go about following my heart. So with that, I’m with her. 

Ideals, Not Ideology

In my Facebook feed, battles are ongoing. Posts have 50, 60, 70 comments. Threads go in various directions simultaneously. Perhaps it is the diversity of my friend group, but there are no demographical trends one might point to in order to make sense of it all. White friends in their 70’s voice opinions echoed by biracial friends in their 20’s. Libertarians agree with Socialists; articles and blog posts and Twitter screen captures are posted and reposted. There is a lot of talk. A little less communication. And even less confidence as to what will happen in November.

The biggest rows I see revolve around some form of this question: Is refusing to vote for Hillary Clinton the same as voting for Trump? I imagine we all have seen and heard the arguments given on all sides. A vote is simply a vote for the candidate for whom it is cast. Or, my vote is not for Clinton, but rather against Trump. Or, I find them both despicable, so I am voting for a third party candidate or a write-in. We’ve seen the articles arguing that not voting for Clinton places at risk GLBT+, POC, immigrants, Muslims, or other vulnerable groups. We’ve seen articles from queer-identified POC telling Whites to stop saying they are voting for Clinton to protect others. We have seen the arguments about how votes for a third party candidate helps get a fledgling party closer to the 5% threshold needed for public funding during the next cycle. Everyone seems to be discussing suffrage, enfranchisement, civic responsibility, and political philosophy. In one way, that’s awesome. I think it is good that people are engaged and paying attention.

However, there are some just flat-out incorrect suppositions and arguments going on, and not just from Fox News. (See Bill O’The Clown’s defense of slavery.)

We are conflating ideals with ideology. Ideals should motivate us. Ideals can also influence our philosophies. Plato’s concepts of the Forms helped us conceptualize ideals and analyze how culture and sometimes arbitrary decisions influence our definitions of things like beauty and justice. The Book of Job is about many things, but at its basis it is a text about the nature of pure justice. Job has one ideal, God another. Ideals can push us to be more compassionate, more industrious, more hospitable.

But ideology is dangerous. Ideology becomes more important than people. When ideological purity is demanded, we venture into dangerous territory in which lives can be seriously damaged. Ideally, we would have an electoral system that provided us with a cleaner process, parties with a greater range of choices, a spirit of cooperation and a shared sense of citizenship. But we don’t live in an ideal society. We can continue to strive to get closer to the ideal, but the sad fact is that it does not exist now and will not before November 8.

Ideology is what led the GOP to say the number one priority was to make President Obama a one term president. Ideology is what keeps Congress from giving a timely up or down vote on hundreds of judicial nominees. Ideology is what drives us to say that strongly held principles are more important than mitigating or reducing danger to the greatest number of people. Ideology gives us a sense of righteous indignation that others will question our decisions when they are not adequately rooted in reality.

By any reasonable metric, Hillary Clinton is not the same as Donald Trump. Hate the player, hate the game all you want but she is damn good at what she does. We might find it deeply depressing, but the political system is what it is and Hillary Clinton has an encyclopedic understanding of what it takes to run the country. And believe me, on November 9 I will once again pick up my megaphone and start working toward the legislative changes that are important to me. People I love are in prison. People I love are veterans who suffer from PTSD. People I love are drowning in student loan debt, have inadequate salaries and insurance, and worry about being able to carry the tax load for a family home. Yes, I love myself thank you ūüėČ

So we’ve gotta stop saying that we’re gonna eat a shit sandwich either way. Or, what the hell. Go ahead and say it. But I’m here to tell you that consistency and amount makes a huge difference when one is facing a shit sandwich. And you’re never going to convince me to stand in Trump’s line. I’m going to be pretty pissed off if the ideological stances of others forces all of us to strap on our bibs and start shoveling shit into our mouths.

For those of you who are holding onto your principles, I get it. I respect it. Believe me, I’m a devout Christian. Everyday I wake up and try to be like Christ, so that means every single day I fail. Ideals are good. But ideology is not. Especially now. You don’t get to pretend that we are in an ideal situation in which your ideological stance doesn’t have consequences for others. And, frankly, enough of the privilege accusations on this one. Really. Enough. I am very aware of my privilege, and where I’m not I admit that I’m not. But on this one, we are facing a situation in which no one is really safe. It is not my privilege that is asking you to vote for Clinton. It is my intellect and the fact that I’m not eager to be governed by a sociopath.

With Clinton, we will have a much better change of continuing the slow, but steady changes.

Seriously. Do we not remember 2004? Do we not remember crying together in Ohio when the marriage ban passed? Look at where we are less than 15 years later. And a vast majority of that came during the Obama Administration. We have the possibility of great social justice progress, even amidst frustration and moderate push back, with Clinton. That will never, ever happen with Trump.

Hold onto your ideals. Dump the ideology.

Why I Will Not Write or Post Anything Anti-Hillary Until Nov. 9

This is probably the definition of self-indulgence, but as Faithful Reader knows, I have bipolar disorder (it doesn’t have me!) and one of the ways that I can slow down and stop cycling thoughts is to write. It can provide catharsis.

I have been a supporter of Bernie Sanders since he declared his candidacy. I pray to God that I have not been one of the Bernie Bros, but I voted for Bernie in the Ohio primary and I share his vision for what our country should be. I have been very turned off by some of the rather aggressive Hillary supporters in my FB news feed who have called Sanders a delusional old man and who issue vitriol to those that disagree. To be fair, that’s just in my news feed and I am not saying anything about Hillary supporters as a whole. My MIL has been down with Hillary since day one, and we love each other likes peas and carrots. Or something like that.

So today I (hopefully) gently pushed back on a post regarding DWS leaving the DNC and going to the HRC campaign. My friend gave a thoughtful, principled reply and while I disagreed with some nuances, it was an amicable exchange. I was trying to communicate my frustration that Progressives have been told, in some ways, to shut up and get in line. I said I think that the convention is exactly the place and time in which these difficult conversations should happen. I left the conversation feeling heard.

And then I saw my feed fill with people using #NeverHillary. I flipped on the convention and saw that the minister giving the opening prayer was booed because Hillary was mentioned. Elijah Cumming’s speech was at times drowned out, and he was also booed for mentioning Hillary Clinton’s name. I heard chants of, “This is what democracy looks like.”

Now I know that conventions can be rowdy places, but after watching the White supremacy fest that took place in Cleveland last week, watching an African-American man be booed at a convention that will make history as being the first major party to nominate a woman made me uncomfortable. That is not being politically correct. That is being a person who understands how much of our country’s history has been spent locking people out rather than ushering people in. For too long that has been the look of democracy. 

And then my friend posted that she asked Bernie supporters, especially White men, to think about how they post or write about Clinton and her supporters. I felt the earnestness in her voice, and as I now listen to a female speaker at the convention talk about how Trump has kids shouting “Build that wall!” at basketball games, it seems clear to me that the best thing I can do right now is stop contributing, even in a small way, to the notion that Clinton is equal to Trump.

Seriously. Let’s stop this nonsense. One of them wants to withdraw the USA from the WTO, NATO, and NAFTA, and the other one actually knows what these organizations do. One is running for dictator while the other is running for president. One is a misogynistic, racist, xenophobic, homophobic, Islamaphobic bigot; the other knows how to spell each of these words.

I have made it clear that I do not think the DNC represents my progressive ideals clearly and consistently enough. I have serious concerns about how the DNC handled the primary race, but I’m done writing about it. Talking about it. Complaining about it. It happened.

Get ready. I’m bout to start whoopin’

preaching.jpg

And while-ah, I think-ah, we need-ah, to investigate, conversate, litigate, mitigate, and contemplate. Not today-ah. Today-ah, we need to look to the left-ah, look to the right-ah, and behold what is in our sight-ah.

Okay, enough of that. But you get the intensity I am trying to communicate here. Clinton and Trump are not the same. And pretending that they are, pretending that she really killed Vince Foster or purposefully ignored intelligence that led to the deaths of six people in Benghazi, continuing to throw fuel on the fire and champion a narrative that gives a false equivalency that will allow Trump’s truly extreme behavior to be counterbalanced, as though Clinton is an equal counter-valence, is irresponsible and dangerous. At least for me. I am not making a request of anyone else. I am writing for myself. Until this election is over, I will not write or post anything (barring some sort of major, documented, authentic scandal) that can be interpreted as equating Hillary to Trump.

I hope that five years from now we have four viable parties and I will feel passionate again about voting for a candidate. That will be nice. But as Bernie said today, we live in reality. Our highest priority is to prevent the destruction of our Republic; to stop the eradication of LGBTQ+ families; to refute Islamophobia; to protect the most vulnerable in our society. If you really think there is no difference between the two candidates or parties, just look at the RNC and DNC platforms. Look at the havoc Drumpf has wrought on small businesses. Look at the bankrupt pensioners who went to Trump U. 

Chances are, I will not vote for Dems moving forward, especially if other small parties become viable and feasible on the local and state level. But that’s academic. That’s with the sense of security and stability that comes with strong leadership at the helm of the ship. And while we may have disagreements after Nov. 8, until then #ImWithHer.

A Deficit of Trust Amidst a Surfeit of Fear

Over the past few hours, various news outlets have been reporting the recent Wikileaks release of nearly 20,000 emails from the Democratic National Committee (DNC) that, among other things, seems to evidence collusion between the Hillary Clinton campaign and the supposedly neutral central party apparatus. This as the presumptive Democratic nominee builds anticipation for her VP pick by first engaging in an unannounced visit to the Pulse nightclub.¬†One feels torn between the absurdity of last night’s RNC closing ceremonies¬†and the anguish many are feeling at the prospect of voting for the other option.

I should start by saying that this is not a Clinton-slamming post; this is about a political system that is so deeply broken, belief and confidence in either of the parties seems impossible. At least, it is for me.

My politics really aren’t a surprise to anyone who knows me; if you’re interested in knowing more click here¬†or here. But definitely not here. I am a registered Democrat only because of state laws; I have no party affiliation and, frankly, I do not think either party can ever again convince me that I can place my trust and confidence in a system that is so thoroughly corrupted. While I absolutely do not think that there is parity between the two candidates–both are deeply flawed, but Trump is an unabashed huckster using my faith tradition for his own despicable advantage to sound cultural and racial dog whistles–I think there is equal corruption of the parties. It seems obvious to me that one side has far more extremists than the other, but I readily admit that I am biased. I like to think I am biased by facts, but most people do. What I am not biased by is ideology.

The Democratic National Committee should be exposed for the disingenuous, Machiavellian cabal that it is, with an infrastructure that is built upon lobbying dollars and incestuous political relationships that tilt the playing field for the established, entrenched players. There is an endless list of things that are odious about Donald Trump, but I’ll give him this: he managed to back down the RNC and secure the nomination. To be sure, Trump needs the Committee and I don’t think they’ll deliver, but Trump came in as an outsider and pissed all over the carpet until the Party called it gold. Bernie Sanders, despite what detractors may say about his policies, was not able to overcome the road blocks the DNC placed in his path. Despite evidence of voter tampering¬†and mounting evidence of illegal maneuvering and collusion during the primaries, the DNC is still trying to convince Xers and Millennials that they have our best interest at heart. That they represent Progressive values. That we can trust them.

Clearly, we cannot.

Bernie never had a shot. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but Trump is right that Bernie never had a chance.*¬†I have not read through the entirety of the Wikileaks cache, but it is this email¬†(screen captured above) that bothers me the most. The Chief Financial Office of the DNC, Brad Marshall, casually wondering how pushing a religious angle–pitting Judaism and atheism against one another to capitalize on Evangelical assumptions–could put Sanders at a disadvantage.¬†The idea that using a person’s religious beliefs as a purity test is always something Democrats accuse Republicans of doing. The DNC claims to be above that; that it represents the Party of religious inclusion** where reasonable people can disagree but unite behind the idea that there is strength in diversity.

And this email proves that to be exactly what it is: malarkey.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I plan to take the advice of Ted Cruz and vote my conscience.¬†even amidst boos. I cannot fathom the details right now, but I know enough to be confident that Trump will be a clear and present danger to the country in general and specifically to Muslims, women, GLBT+ persons, immigrants, and anyone else who does not toe the ever changing line he draws. This is not a man who has the disposition, discipline, intelligent, or gravitas to sit in the chair that is currently occupied by someone who has all of those attributes (and more) in abundance. But this is it for me as someone who will put any energy or confidence into the Democratic party.

*I seriously need a shower.

**This article by Mother Jones is absolutely worth the read.