I’m going to keep this brief, as I don’t want to write something I’ll regret.
No one showed up to the event today. The social justice director of the BCP arrived in time to console me. We had lovely hugs and she is my BFF.
But I’m devastated and tired and I frankly don’t want to do this anymore.
Of course, I don’t really mean that; I do, but just for right now. I feel like a fucking idiot. I have poured much time and money into this project, the programming of which was based on numerous conversations and promises of collaboration, and now I have to pivot and prepare myself for the possibility that no one really wants to do this work.
I understand everyone is busy. I get it. But of all the areas in which I do work, the fact that not a single person from Antioch, the church, or the community was there is difficult to swallow.
Just in case you’re thinking of writing a response: I know. It is a Saturday. There are lots of things going on. People are tired. I know, as there are lots of things I miss that I want to attend because life is complicated and filled. I know that this isn’t personal but it feels that way.
For right now, I just need to feel bummed and a little hurt. I’ll get over it. I believe in a God who doesn’t allow overly-long pity parties. But I need to process this before I try to write tomorrow’s sermon.
I’m going to go off Facebook until…I dunno. For the rest of the day, at least.
I’ll catch y’all on the flip-flop/.